teh funnay

Post about important stuff? Updates? Stories of David or the family or other stuff going on in our lives? Nah, that’s too tough. Here are some funny pictures instead. They draw more traffic to the site anyway.

The Gold Hammer

I remember I was hammering on a fence in the backyard when my dad approached me. He was carrying a letter or something in his hand, and he looked worried. I continued to hammer as he came toward me. “Son,” he said, “why are you hammering on that fence? It already has plenty of nails in it.” “Oh, I’m not using nails,” I replied. “I’m just hammering.” With that, I returned to my hammering. Dad asked me to stop hammering, as he had some news. I did stop hammering, but first I got a couple more hammers in, and this seemed to make Dad mad. “I said, stop hammering!” he yelled. I think he felt bad for yelling at me, especially since it looked like he had bad news. “Look,” he said, “you can hammer later, but first–” Well, I didn’t even wait to hear the rest. As soon as I heard “You can hammer,” that’s what I started doing. Hammering away, happy as an old hammer hog. Dad tried to physically stop me from hammering by inserting a small log of some sort between my hammer and the fence. But I just kept on hammering, ’cause that’s the way I am when I get that hammer going. Then, he just grabbed my arm and and made me stop. “I’m afraid I have some news for you,” he said. I swear, what I did next was not hammering. I was just letting the hammer swing lazily at arm’s length, and maybe it tapped the fence once or twice, but that’s all. That apparently didn’t make any difference whatsoever to Dad, because he just grabbed my hammer out of my hand and flung it across the field. And when I saw my hammer flying helplessly through the air like that I just couldn’t take it. I burst out crying, I admit it. And I ran to the house, as fast as my legs could take me. “Son, come back!” yelled Dad. “What about your hammer?!” But I could not have cared less about hammering at that point. I ran into the house and flung myself onto my bed, pounding the bed with my fists. I pounded and pounded, until finally, behind me, I heard a voice. “As long as you’re pounding, why not use this?” I turned, and it was Dad, holding a brand-new solid-gold hammer. I quickly wiped the tears from my eyes and ran to Dad’s outstretched arms. But suddenly, he jumped out of the way, and I went sailing through the second-story window behind him. Whenever I hear about a kid getting in trouble with the drugs, I like to tell them this story.

Battletoads

Have you ever wondered what happens when a online meme goes photoshop, then enters real life? Hilarity is what happens.

Take this totally fake ad for a “Battletoads” game.

Well, apparently on the 12th, 13th and 14th of November (and still carrying on), someone online got organized and decided to call Wal-Mart and Gamestop and ask if they had Battletoads in stock, or available for preorder, or would be getting them in, etc. More then 40 stores were targeted, some stores recived calls all day. It was great epic win. At first, some stores were friendly and explained that they don’t have it. After a few hours they got really pissed. Some employees called Anon very bad things, things you can’t say on Faux News. Other employees thought this was funny, and joked about BattleToads.

According to GameStop employees:

• Battletoads is the new Horde race in World Of Warcraft.
• If you beat Halo 3, 900 times you unlock BattleToads, Anon corrected the employee. The correct answer is Over nine thousand.
• The Sims 2 expansion pack “Cast Away” contains both BattleToads and Mudkipz
• The Battletoads game cost as much as your mom
• You must get 1,000,000 points on Rock Band to unlock BattleToads
• Battletoads is coming out next October
• Battletoads is only available in Orange box edition, not Green Box edition

 

>>
Me: Can I pre-order Battletoads?
Him: MAN! I am on the other line with a guy doing this to me. Why do you guys do this?

>>
Me: Yes, I’d like to pre-order Battletoads. Will that be available?
Him: Yes, it’s actually not going to be released until Christmas day.
Me: Oh really?
Him: Yeah. I’d actually like to recommend another title too, it’s called “Ace Combat 7: Battletoads edition.” It actually will have The toads on planes during combat.
Me: That sounds amazing!
Him: You have no idea.
Me: I think I’ll come in and pick that up in person!
Him: Sounds good. *phone ringing in background* Ah, seems we’re going to be getting a lot of calls for this here today. As usual.
Me: Ok then, see you soon!

>>
me: hi i’d like to preorder battletoads!
gs: did you just call?
me: no i’d like to preorder battletoads though.
gs: well if you want that i’d like to go ahead and suggest ace combat 3: battletoads edition, and what they do is the battletoads actually fight from the wings.. and i have another call coming, probably for battletoads, so i’m gonna let you go.
me: okay, do a barrel roll!
gs: alllright

>>
someone needs to call and ask if they carry the strategy guide for battletoads

>>
me: hi i’d like to pre-order battletoads
him: thanks for calling gamestop, home of battletoads,
me: hi yea, i’d like some battletoadz
him: well they’ve just released a new game, Ace Combat 7: Battletoads edition,” are you sure you don’t want that?
me: yes i want my battletoads
him: sorry i’ve got another call coming in, probably about battletoads, have a nice day!

>>
Me: Hi could I place a pre-order for battletoads?
Him: Could you please come in my store so I can snap your neck.
Me: Ok, see you soon.
Him: Asshole.

>>
James picked up and asked me if i wanted the PS2 ver or 360
i lol’d

>>
They just hung up on me D:

>>
lmfao, i just got back from town east and i was in gamestop and just started laughing my ass off at them every time they answered the phone. i knew anon was behind it but i wasnt gonna spoil the fun. by the way, i went up to him and asked in person to preorder battletoads. i got the “you son of a bitch” look and walked out cause he had to answer the phone.

>>
Him: Hey this is James.
Me: Hi James I would like to make a pre-order today.
Him: Yeah well die in a fire.

CLICK
rofl

>>
Me: Yes, do you guys accept handhelds for trade, like a PSP?
Him: Yes, we can do store credit for that which you can use in any of our stores.
Me: Oh cool. How much could I get for it?
Him: Depends on it’s condition, but maybe around $50 for it.
Me: Not bad. How many copies of Battletoads can I get for that much?
Him: GOD DAMMIT.

*click*

>>
him: thanks for calling gs, how can i help you
me: hi, i was wondering if you all are accepting applications
him: yeah, just go to [whatever website] to apply online, and a manager will call you
me: cool – how much does like a cashier pay there?
him: about 7.50 an hour
me: oh. is there anyway i could be paid in used battletoads games?
him: fuck you

>>
gs: welcome to gamestop, home of the battle toads ten, new edition preorders

me: how much will that cost me?

gs:more than you could ever afford

>>
The guy here is actually checking to see if there is a copy of Battletoads.

>>
Me: Hello, this is Hogart Hughes, I’d like to place a pre-order!
Them: Ehhh, go play in traffic.

>>
Me: I’m looking for a game concole for my nephew, he’s 10, is a Wii or 360 better?
Him: the 360 is for more serious gamers, the Wii is for all ages
Me: What console does battle toads run on?
*click*

>>
This guy is threatening to trace me.

>>
Him: Hi, thank you for calling Gamestop.
Me: Yeah, I have a question for you. I want to trade in my Xbox 360, how much money can I get for that?
Him: Let me look it up. You can get $150 for the system and $50 for the 20Gb hard drive.
Me: Store Credit or Cash?
Him: Store credit.
Me: Ok. How many copies of Battletoads can I get for that much store credit?
Him: *hang up*

>>
LMAO COPS ANSWERED

>>
GS: Hello this is officer “So and so”
me: Is this not gamestop?
GS: Are you one of the battletoads people?
me: CLICK

>>
GS: Hello, how may I help you?
Me: I’ve been trying to call for 3 hours now. What the hell kind of store are you running?
GS: I’m sorry, sir, I’m just really stressed…
Me: Well how is that my problem?
GS: You aren’t calling for battletoads, are you?
Me: What the fuck is Battletoads, I’m looking for combatfrogs.
*click*

>>
gs: police department, this is officer shelly

CLICK

>>
the OP gamestop employees are starting to flip the fuck out now. james is making veiled threats before hanging up

>>
hahaha just walked down to gs and see if anon is really calling and the dude is in tears. no fucking joke he is about to cry.

>>
GS: Hello, this is Gamestop, home of Battletoads.

>>
Me:How much is a copy of brain age for the nintendo ds?
Him:34.99 (what the fuck its like 20 dollars where i live)
Me: How much is a copy of battletoads?
him: stop calling you son of a bitch

>>
him “hello this is dominos”
“i’d like to preorder battletoads”
“battletoads? this is dominos man this isn’t gamestop”

LOL @ “THIS ISN’T GAMESTOP”

>>
GS: Hi, this is officer Shelly.
Me: Hi Officer Shelly, how are you today?
GS: (sounding confused)oookaayy?
Me: That’s good, may I ask you something?
GS: Yes?
Me: Has your son ever played the game, Battletoads?
*click*

>>
Me: Can I get info on Dragon Quest Monsters
Them: Battletoads?
Me: Dragon Quest Monsters
Them: Did you get our number on eBaumsWorld?
Me: Yeah
Them: You’re being traced by Mesquite police department.
Me: Fuck

All lulz can be found here.